The Examined Life – Stephen Grosz

‘This book is about change.’

We are all storytellers – we make stories to make sense of our lives. But it is not enough to tell tales. There must be someone to listen.

In his work as a practising psychoanalyst, Stephen Grosz has spent the last twenty-five years uncovering the hidden feelings behind our most baffling behaviour. The Examined Life distils over 50,000 hours of conversation into pure psychological insight, without the jargon.

This extraordinary book is about one ordinary process: talking, listening and understanding. Its aphoristic and elegant stories teach us a new kind of attentiveness. They also unveil a delicate self-portrait of the analyst at work, and show how lessons learned in the consulting room can reveal as much to him as to the patient.

These are stories about our everyday lives: they are about the people we love and the lies that we tell; the changes we bear, and the grief. Ultimately, they show us not only how we lose ourselves but how we might find ourselves too.

Reviews of “The Examined Life”

“The Examined Life … shares the best literary qualities of Freud’s most persuasive work. It is … an insightful and beautifully written book … a series of slim, piercing chapters that read like a combination of Chekhov and Oliver Sacks. [A] deeply affecting book…”

Michiko Kakutani — New York Times.

… Grosz writes with such artful self-effacement that his cases seem to speak for themselves. […] What makes The Examined Life so fulfilling is the way Grosz moves from case study to essay, from narrative to hypothesis, including the reader in each mental step.

Talitha Stevenson – The Observer

“An elegant, unfussy writer, [Grosz] compresses years of analysis into short chapters that feel like minimalist, suspenseful detective stories. At the end of each story, a secret is revealed; often, it’s a secret which you’ve also kept.”

Joshua Rothman – New Yorker

“Engaging, frank, and with many penetrating insights. His short, succinct chapters have both the tension and the satisfaction of miniature detective or mystery stories. . . . A stimulating book.”

Michael Holroyd — The Spectator

“Brilliant. . . . After reading [Grosz’s] absorbing accounts of his patients’ journeys you might feel that The Examined Life ought to be given out free at birth.”

Melissa Katsoulis — The Times

“[A] gem…. While you could devour the whole thing in an afternoon, there’s much to digest about the way we tell ourselves stories, and about how the way we narrate our own lives winds up shaping what they become.”

Amelia Lester, New Yorker

“Grosz tells stories in spare, gentle prose — his compassion for his patients is palpable, and constant, on these pages — the result is a sense of shared humanity, understanding and even hope.”

Kate Tuttle – Boston Globe

“Packed with insights on everyday life… An inspirational pick that will find its way not only into psychology collections, but into the hearts and lives of everyday readers.”

Midwest Book Review

“Grosz’s vignettes are so brilliantly put together that they read like pieces of bare, illuminating fiction. . . . It is this combination of tenacious detective work, remarkable compassion and sheer, unending curiosity for the oddities of the human heart that makes these stories utterly captivating.”

Robert Collins — Sunday Times

“Excellent… this book arrives like a box of chocolates. Thirty-one elegantly presented chapters which, when you bite into them, each reveals something sweet, rich or crunchy. Every one of these case histories bears repeating. All offer worthwhile insights.”

Susanna Rustin – The Guardian

“Intensely readable… As a reminder of the strangeness of human existence, the myriad ways we find of making ourselves unhappy and the perplexing resourcefulness of the unconscious mind, Grosz’s book is a worthwhile addition to the literature of the examined life.”

Jane Shilling – The New Statesman

Praise for “The Examined Life”

Andrew Solomon, author of “Far From the Tree”

“This book conveys the nuanced complexities of psychoanalysis in deceptively simple human stories. It is written with generosity toward both its subjects and its readers; with authentic wit; and with flashes of profound insight. The novelistic charm of its case histories makes it impossible to put down, but while you may read it for entertainment, it will leave you wiser about humanity than you were when you picked it up.”

Patrick McGrath, author of “Asylum”

“Someone in pain enters an analyst’s consulting room, and is paid careful, intelligent attention. The Examined Life is a fascinating collection of quiet stories about very real human predicaments: the listening cure at its best.”

Victoria Hislop, author of “The Thread”

“I couldn’t put this down—I read about other people, but learned about myself at the same time. Real stories can be so much more fascinating than fictional ones, especially with Stephen Grosz. No preaching, no clichés—just wisdom.”

Ruth Padel, author of “52 Ways of Looking at a Poem”

“A beautifully judged, wonderfully readable book with an unusually clear and kind voice. There is a rare integrity in the writing: no showing off, just honest attention to each trusted relationship. I read the whole thing in one sitting, cover to cover.”

Sophie Hannah, author of “Little Face”

“This gripping book offers psychological solutions to some extremely complex human puzzles and is full of wisdom and insight.”

Book of the Year

The Examined Life has been chosen as one of 2013’s Books of the Year in: